5 Very Good Reasons To Stab Your Parents To Death

There are many a times in a child's life when he just wants to murder his parents. Well, if you are looking for any motivating reasons to help your conscience accept the fact that you really want to murder your parents by stabbing them to death and to help you do that, here are 5 very good reasons:


 1. Embarrassment:

 Remember that time on your sixteenth birthday party when your parents asked you to show that mole on your right testicle to everyone present in the party and you were embarrassed as fuck because you had a hole in your undies through which everyone was able to see that ultra small size condom you jerked off into last night and somehow forgot to remove. Well, if that never happened to you then YOU do not deserve to live and should kill yourself right off, because no one who is not embarrassed to a very high degree should be allowed to live - to help other embarrassed folks feel better about themselves. Well, the point of the story is that there has been many cases when you were embarrassed as balls because of your parents, to take revenge of all those moments that you later tweeted using the "ThatAkwardMonentWhen..." tweet format which also caused you embarrassment and unfollows... all because of your parents. So murder those motherfuckers(Both your parents and twitter unfollowers. However, it is recommended that you kill unfollowers first.)


 2. They made you:

 There is an old saying in Honolulu "A men's penile length is directly proportional to the height of the body around it, and the author of this post is 6'2" tall (7 more inches then he can 6'9" *winky smiley*)." Implying that a child is what his parents make of him, a child's upbringing determines his future and pretty much everything that child will be associated with for the rest of his life. Take a look at yourself, what you have become. No seriously, take a moment to contemplate upon what went in your life so horribly wrong that you are currently reading this blogpost! Whatever your answer is, blame your parents for this fucked up condition of yours, and kill them for being such bad parents.


3. Become a serial killer:

 There is a very old Chinese saying that goes something like "A men's penile length is directly proportional to the height of the body around it, and the author of this post is 6'2" tall (7 more inches then he can 6'9" *winky smiley*)." The emphasized point is that if you want to start something anew, you should always start at home. Thus, if you want to be a serial killer, you should start a home that is, you should stat by killing off your parents, this will also save them the further embarrassment and shame of being bad parents when you get caught. I recommend being a serial killer because you will never run of people to kill, killing is fun and you can always eat the body after killing them if you do not find any valuable items or money. I will also recommend hot girls to stat sleeping with more serial killers, that will not only save your life but will also motivate more people to become serial killers, thus, it will help coping up with the rising problem of overpopulation. All this can be achieved if you practice the art of killing people on your parents. Trust me, it will make them proud.


4. Save them from the pain:

 It is popularly known that "A men's penile length is directly proportional to the height of the body around it, and the author of this post is 6'2" tall (7 more inches then he can 6'9" *winky smiley*)." All parents love their offsprings because naturally, you will love every biological, organic piece of shit when you are obligated to spend so much money on them in the form of food, education, iPads, other non shitty gadgets, etc. And thus, it hurts them when they see you fail, or getting unfollowed on twitter, being called a fag on 4chan, or when they read your tweets or facebook posts. If you are reading this, there is no fucking way you can be anything important in your entire life, so, to protect your parents from the pain which is bound to follow after your inevitable failure in life, you should kill them, because hardwork is too mainstream. Killing them will also help reducing the pain caused by natural deaths or any other deaths.


5. Property:

If you belong to a rich family, killing your parents will mean that you automatically inherit all your parental property. And since you have money, you can even buy better parents who will not annoy the shit out of you. If you belong to a bourgeois or a poor family, simply surrender to police after murdering your parents. You will most likely get a life sentence, thus free food and shelter for the rest of your life. Additionally, you will never be allowed to go out, thus no more awkward conversations with relatives or pretentious, fake people who silently call you a faggot. Going out, can you imagine that?


In the end, I will recommend that you murder your parents by stabbing them to death as soon as possible, for your own, and more importantly their good.

If he is not into you...

just another boring comic

Things Not To Do On Facebook

Facebook: World's largest social networking site or as we say the duckfae hub full of people you always avoided or ignored in real life. The place where you post hearts on your BF/GF's wall when you are not adding random chicks or updating song lyrics as your status update. but here are some things that you should never do/ stop doing on FB.

1. Liking your own status:

Liking your own status is epitome of narcissism. Just why the Fuck you would 'like' your own status? why why why? to increase number of likes? if yes, please commit suicide.

2. Adding Random People:

As facebook clearly states that you should only add people you personally know, stop sending/accepting friend requests to/of random people. seriuosly, no one gives a flying fuck about your friend count and those girls with hot DP's are either mad, whores, or most commonly fake ID's created by a random jobless asshole to promote his/her page, blog etc.

3. Sending Farmville requests:

See, we appreciate the fact that you want to play a game with us. But why farmville? why not an actual fucking game. We seldom get any notifications and when we find out that the only notification we got after 69 days was a stupid game request, it makes us wanna kill you - The SAW way.

*Author's Note: I myself blocked some 16 people for the same reason. also I am baned from Farmville and Cityville because I tried to grow marijuana and a red zone area in respective games.

4. Adding your family members:

Unless and util you're willing to be embarrased by your family members in front of all your friends. Just dont do it.

5. Spamming with your Blog/Fb page etc.:

Please. Don't. Do. It. Please.

6. Chatting on Each others' wall:

Even though it is sucky, but Facebook still have that chatbox thing. Please use it instead of communicating on each others' wall so that all your 500 stalker friends can read it. Tell me this: for what reason would you invite someone to a private party by writing on their wall, other than to show off to all the people on their friends list who you don't want to come? It just makes you look like a tit, so don't do it.

7. Using Uppercase:

WELL, YOU SHOULD NOT USE FUCKING UPEERCASE ANYWHERE. STOP SCREAMING ON MY NEWS FEED.

8.Upload photos to Facebook and deleting originals:

Uploading photos to Facebook can be a very handy way of sharing your holiday snaps. But for the love of God, don't lose your originals. Facebook is terrible at compressing and resizing images - it turns your 14MP panoramas into 14KB monstrosities. Facebook is not a suitable repository to store your precious photos!

9. Lazy grammar and spelling mistrakes:

Reading Facebook is like perusing a six-year olds' English copybook. Come on, people: 'Your' is 'your'. 'You are' is 'you're'. It really isn't hard to get that little one right. And understanding the difference between there, their and they're surely isn't too much of a challenge?

10. Joining ridiculous chain-mail groups:

Why do people insist on joining groups such as "On the X of May, everyone has to panic buy carrots"? Come on people, how stupid are you? There's one group on Facebook devoted to nullifying the vegetarian moral crusade, and it's called: "For every animal you don't eat, I'm going to eat three". That's a good group name. "I think Ryan Seacrest is the best presenter ever" is not.

11. Tag people in images they are not related with:
What is the significance of adding 56354343543543 friends in that self-shot duck-face photo taken in bathroom? Just blastin our notifications?

12. POKE random people:

Don’t poke people you don’t know. Let’s face it poking, even in the real world, would not win you many fans. So why try it on unsuspecting strangers in the virtual world?

Your DSLR

Digital single-lens reflex Cameras or DSLR's are nowadays not a proffessional photographer's tool. They're now a device owned by teenagers who niether have any idea of all the functions of it nor do they need it.

Owning a DSLR have now become a trend, everyone have one, those who dont have them are socially outcasted.

It is like having the best bag-packs in II Grade or the best bycycle in Grade VI. It is now a device which you do not need but without which you won't look trendy. They are the new 'Being human' T-shirts or the new 'Narrow-bottom jeans'.

Falling in the vicious circle of marketing, more kids demands these expensive cameras and once they get it, they start flaunting it, strengthening the circle.

But now that they own one, their entire posse exalts them to the level of some great photographer. Suddenly a beggar, a street dog will become an object of art, the perfect picture.

They will start taking pictures of almost everything they see. From a roadside tea-stall to those people peeing on walls. From awkward and embarrasing positions of their friends to a red spot on their testicle.

The resolution and the quantum of pixels makes everything better even if the dude behind the camera is a wannabe teeange photographer. No sir, it is not you, it is the damn camera.

Naturally, they run around everywhere with their camera – poking it into random areas and trying to look sophisticated adjusting settings. But in reality, they are just pressing random buttons to figure out their actual functions.

And to add to dismal, they will upload these photos on their Facebook tagging and cluttering Timelines of 1458764631 friends who are in no way related with the picture. The folder named either 'Mah clicks' or 'Photography' will surely get them hundreds of likes. Other wannabe douchebags will add comments like 'So beautiful', 'LOL that's hillllllaaaariiios', 'Dood! You are so talented' and all.

They will get thousands of likes, comments and "awwwwwww's" on all of the 20,000 consecutive pictures of poor children in their great-grandfather's childhood underwears. Even if you upload the same picture a zillion times, you will get all these "Likes" and "Comments" on all of them.

Yes, amongst all the smart people who did not waste their money into buying that DSLR, you will be everyone's centre of attention with that HGGE camera hanging round your neck. (Yes, you can use it to commit suicide if you dont get a job after a few years.)

But that doesnt change anything. You were talentless, you still are talentless, but if you dont put your efforts into converting this show-off of yours into an actual job, you will be talentless and jobless as well.

And somehow if you get an actual job, one day you'll find that DSLR in a forsaken trash-box having other stuff you cried for in front of your parents. Your actual 'love-of-life'.